PhD DOTA & CS-holic’s journey

22 Oct 2006 - The announcement was made by Maer that Raya is the next day  No feelings of joy. Maybe it will come the next day.

23 Oct 2006 - Nope, still no joy. Comtemplated to go for Raya prayers since have some work to do. But I
went anyway. Nearly cried at the mosque after the khutbah. An Arab guy
beside me was in tears. Tough to see that especially on a day like Raya. Was fixed with the BP monitor.

24 Oct 2006 - A bit slow for a second day. Didn’t even felt like doin anything today.  The gathering was nice. A change from sitting in the room and wondering what to do for Raya. Food was good…now missing cheesecake. Damn good…Happy to get rid of the BP monitor. 

25 Oct 2006 - Today is the first day I embark on the Cocoa experience…No Coffee for 8 weeks. Pray for me ya?

26 Oct 2006 - Cranky since haven’t had any coffee in the last 24 hours. But I know it’s doing a world of good for my body. It needs the break. The feelings of a lonely Raya is seeping in me. I guess I’m letting my body be itself. Feelings over mind. I’m not afraid to admit that I do miss my family. LOADS! And I know what I’m doing here is for them. I think that any guy that is scared to admit missing their family during Raya are just plain stupid and ignorant.

27 Oct 2006 - Been busy with my assignments. Spend the day at uni. Nothing interesting.

28 Oct 2006 - I think I’m married to the PC at the lab. PC # 3, row 4….Its even got my mark on the side. Weird!…Think I’m growing attached to the PC. Need to change labs but I keep thinking that its like cheating on PC # 3. Pathetic, I know…

29 Oct 2006 - Managed to finish my assignments. A bit relaxed now. Raya feelings coming back. Guessed it wouldnt hurt to be a bit happy abt Raya.

30 Oct 2006 - Submitted my work. Happy abt it. Was suppose to meet the tutor but we cancelled it till Wednesday.

31 Oct 2006 - A free day. Went out for a walk and then spend my time in the room studying. Looking at Raya cards, a bit sad.

I’m officially on the cocoa study. My BP was ard 147/80 which I found out is not too good. LOL. I guess coffee is not GOOD…(see how I stress on the uppercase). On Monday, I was fixed with a 24 hr BP monitor. It was portable but really intrusive coz I had to walk ard with a pipe sticking out of the back of my shirt. It was so embarassing…I realized it was that bad when I stepped out of the building after getting it fixed. A few guys were behind me and they were talking abt it. One of them said it was my gas pipe. GAS PIPE? Ughhh….Getting $250 for it is seriously low…LOL….$100 for the humiliation that I will face during the study. Anyway, today is the first day of my cocoa supplement drink. Was given a 3 weeks supply of it. Not bad. Pure cocoa heaven. Hmm….I guess I will be  a cocoa addict after this study.  8 weeks without coffee or anything with flavinol….A big problem for a guy like me. Oh well, I need the cash.

COCOA AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Always wondered how life would be without COFFEE. Just went cold turkey for the sake of science. Not suppose to eat loads of stuff while I’m being studied. LOL….sounds like I’m on a display or something. Not sure how life would be without COFFEE. Pretty dull I guess. I remembered when I drank COFFEE, the world always seem a bit more colourful. The word is being HIGH. Weird but hey, everyone has some quirky aspects in them, so mine is COFFEE. Back when I was a high time COFFEE drinker, I enjoy loads of cup of COFFEE. A bit of Tall Black, a few Cafe Latte, some Mocha and finally, a few shots of Expresso. I would be so HIGH it would seem things would be ok but I guess it’s just for awhile. Nothing more than that.

It’s the same as a junkie would feel. I’m a self-professed COFFEE ADDICT. It’s bad…I know but I can’t help it. Hopefully I would be a better person after this study ends. A more cheerful person and maybe a bit more matured.

To all my dear frens,

This story was created by a fren of mine who was so bored out of his mind coz u know being a "guard" is boring sometimes. So what I have written here is just what I thought was the movtivation that drove him to write it. Hehe…sorry for the inconvinence. And just my thoughts, maybe lvl 2 does have it’s own happy ghost there…waiting in the dark to scare the shit out of the residents there. It’s a bit cool to think that there’s something there waiting for us, eh?

Nvr thought I would hear such insident happening on lvl 2 since there’s a self proclaimed "Guard" sleeping there every night on the 3 seater couch. (Tahu-tahu saja la). But hmm, probably the thing that was seen could be something out of the imagination. Not sure. I guess we would have to see it for ourselves.

"It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who
have the enlightenment, or the courage, to pay the price." - Morris West

Full human being…how does it feel to be a full human being? And I always thought that I am a complete human. But complete humans wouldn’t feel so powerless among fellow humans. The same DNA makeup, same body functions and same brain functions so I guess I shouldn’t be scared of them. I would have to pay the price in order to be a full human being. But what would be the price? I’m still asking around…

Hmmm, my last blog update was 15th May 2006 and lo behold am in Adelaide now. Studying. Been here for the past 2 months ++ and enjoying it every bit. But I would love to say that everything is hey ok but it’s not. Irony of life just farted right in my face, leaving me to suffocate here in little Adelaide. I’m finding it a bit hard now to cope with my studies. Am not blaming it on the environment or the ppl here (although I know I could since this is my own blog, BUGGER OFF!) but the fault lies entirely with me.

Programming is not as easy as I thought it would be and I’m beginning to see a dark passage way instead of the normal lighted ones (you know those high powered torchlights that would kill an idiot who is stupid enough to hit it against their head). I so need help but where can sought one out? I tried forums but hell, ppl there can be mean. Ughh…and to top it all, I’m having thoughts of changing my entire course to something along the lines of Mass Comm. Weird huh? I made the move from Multimedia to IT and now Mass Comm? I guess what I’m feeling is depression at its worse. And the crappy assignments arent making it better. Am not sure what my sponsors would feel like especially the School’s Dean. She would so get her "tudung-in-knots" when she hears abt my progress.

Hmmm..how I wished life was a bit simpler. But Sagi’s always have the most interesting "twist" to their life. Oh well, better plough on to at least pass this sem. Pray for me…